Question Description

I just need you to compare the essay to the Rubric I just got to make sure I fulfilled all requirements. Also, I need you to review the essay and check grammar and puncuation.



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1009W MLC Prerequisite Expository Essay
ASSIGNMENT TITLE: MLC Prerequisite Expository Essay
COGNITIVE LEVEL ATTAINED: Higher levels include characteristics of lower levels
Breaking material into constituent parts, determining how the parts relate to each other and to
an overall structure or purpose through differentiating, organizing, and attributing.
Carrying out or using a procedure through executing or implementing.
Constructing meaning from oral, written, and graphic messages through interpreting,
exemplifying, classifying, summarizing, inferring, comparing, and explaining.
Retrieving, recognizing, and recalling relevant knowledge from long-term memory.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT: Prerequisite Expository Essay
Requirements for this assignment are located in paragraph three of the welcome letter.
Facilitator Comments:
Facilitator Signature:
Learner Comments:
Learner Signature:
Prerequisite Expository Essay
Learners will prepare an original PEE on the contemporary Army issue facing the Sexual Harassment/Assault Response Prevention (SHARP) program within
their organizations. In your essay, explain two recommendations that might improve the effectiveness of your unit’s SHARP program. In doing so, use your
personal experience and at least three references to support your proposals. This paper must set forth an argument concerning your own experience in this
category. You will write in a clear and concise manner while using correct grammar, sentence structure, and word usage. You must provide a coherent
transition from one topic to the next using the provided rubric as a general guideline. Your essay must be in Times New Roman, 12pt font, double-spaced,
APA 6th edition format without an abstract, tables, charts, etc. The essay must be a minimum of three pages and no longer than five pages in length, not
including the title and reference pages.
General (Topics)
0-3.9 pts
Needs Improvement
4-6.9 pts
7-8.9 pts
9-10 pts
The text has an unclear topic The text focuses on a topic The text focuses on a topic
with very few ideas,
that informs the reader on that informs the reader on
ideas, concepts, information,
Topic Introduction: concepts, information, etc.; ideas, concepts, and
no thesis statement.
information, etc.; little to etc.; thesis statement is
no thesis statement.
present but vague.
The text clearly focuses on a topic
that informs the reader on ideas,
concepts, information, etc.;
provides a strong thesis
The text provides facts,
definitions, details,
quotations, and examples
that attempt to develop and
Topic Development: explain the topic. The
conclusion merely restates
the development.
The text provides relevant The text provides effective
facts, definitions, concrete facts, definitions, concrete
details, quotations, and
details, quotations, and
examples that develop and examples that sufficiently
explain the topic. The
develop and explain the
conclusion ties to and
topic. The conclusion
supports the information provides the implications,
and explanation.
significance of, and future
relevance of the topic.
The text provides significant
facts, definitions, concrete
details, and quotations that fully
develop and explain the topic.
The conclusion provides insight
to the implications, explains the
significance of the topic, and
projects to the future.
The text uses words,
phrases, and clauses to
link the major sections of
the text. The text connects
the topic, examples,
and/or facts.
The text strategically uses words,
phrases, and clauses to link the
major sections of text. The text
thoroughly explains the
relationships between the topic,
examples, and/or facts.
Sequencing and
Transitions: 10%
The text contains limited
words, phrases, and clauses
to link the major sections of
the text. The text attempts
to connect the topic and the
examples and/or facts.
The text illustrates a limited The text presents a formal
awareness of formal tone objective tone and uses
and awareness of topicprecise language and
specific vocabulary.
topic- specific vocabulary
Language and
Writing is choppy,
to manage the complexity
Readability: 10% awkward, and unclear
of the topic. Writing is
causing reader to read
awkward and unclear
passages several times in causing reader to read
order to determine purpose. passages several times.
APA Formatting
The text skillfully uses
words, phrases, and clauses
to link the major sections of
the text. The text identifies
the relationship between the
topic, examples, and/or facts.
The text presents an
The text presents an engaging,
appropriate formal objective formal, and objective tone and
tone and uses relevant
uses sophisticated language and
language and topic-specific topic-specific vocabulary to
vocabulary to manage the
manage the complexity of the
complexity of the topic.
topic. Writing flows and is easy
Writing has minimal
to follow.
awkward or unclear passages.
There are no more than three There are no errors in the APA
style or formatting. The student
errors in APA style and
paper possesses a scholarly style.
formatting. The errors are
minimal and do not detract
from the paper.
Errors in APA style and
formatting detract
substantially from the
There are five or more
errors in APA style and
formatting. The errors are
significant enough to
detract from the paper.
There are six or more errors
in grammar, spelling,
punctuation, and word
There are four or more
There are two or more errors There are no errors in grammar,
errors in grammar,
in grammar, spelling,
spelling, punctuation, and word
spelling, punctuation, and punctuation, and word usage. usage.
word usage.
There are four topic areas worth ten pts each for a total of 40 pts. The topic introduction is weighted
by two and the topic development is weighted by four; totaling 60 pts. (40+60 = 100 possible pts).
15% to 24% plagiarism subtracts 10 pts and 25% or more subtracts 20-31 pts.
SFC Anthony Ambriz
Master Leaders Course
The Sexual Harassment Assault Response Prevention (SHARP) program is an integrated
and proactive effort by the U.S army to reduce and eliminate cases of sexual harassment and
other offenses in the army. While this unit is effectively focused on increasing sexual fairness for
soldiers in the force, it is faced with many challenges that need to be addressed. My experience
with SHARP in my organization has allowed me to understand the program dynamics and the
unique challenges that it faces in contemporary society. This paper focuses on some of the
challenges I have observed and recommend specific action to overcome them as proposed by
credible sources and supported by the author. SHARP has been challenged by a lack of
evaluations for effectiveness, an increased focus on mental issues, and decision-making on
sexual assault cases. Suggestions to improve this may include focusing on safety issues and also
changing the decision-making model for increased transparency.
One of the main issues facing the SHARP program is that it has not received effective
evaluations and hence its impact on the soldiers’ beliefs and change of behavior are not known.
The major flaw that the program at my organization faces is that there are no elaborate means of
evaluating the program’s effectiveness in belief and behavior change. According to Orchowski et
al. (2018), there is lack of formal evaluations, across the board on the effectiveness of such
programs in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force regarding attitudes and behavior change.
This claim supports my personal observation in my branch regarding the lack of follow-up tests
of the effectiveness of the program. Therefore, although SHARP works well in creating
awareness and advocating against sexual assault in the forces, its effectiveness has not been
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Other than evaluation, the program is also affected by efforts being focused on the mental
health of soldiers while issues of sexual assault are sometimes given less attention. The army
currently faces a crisis with mental health issues. These issues mainly surround the question of
veterans and their transition from service to civilian lifestyle. Moreover, those who are mainly
affected by sexual violence are also affected by mental health issues and hence this becomes a
double-sided problem. The preoccupation with mental health problems presents a challenge to
many soldiers whose issues may not be attended to due to the problem of mental health. My unit
is highly focused on the mental health of soldiers and hence is faced with the challenge of
balancing attention to health problems and that provided to assault. This issue, it can be said, has
been caused by the current trends of increased mental health cases in the army and their adverse
effects on the well-being of soldiers. The diversion of attention from issues of sexual assault to
issues of mental health has crippled many SHARP departments and hence made them less than
Another challenge that the program is facing in my organization is the problem of
decision-making in the military. Traditionally, sexual assault cases only go to trial if senior
military officials say so. Therefore, the limited power of SHARP when it comes to acting in the
military justice system cripples the efforts of the program. This problem has limited the ability of
SHARP to effectively reinforce attitude and behavior change due to the decision-making process
in the justice system. Moreover, officers may not appreciate the weight of sexual assault issues if
they have not been sensitized on the problem and they have not undergone proper training.
Therefore, other than transparency, there is an awareness issue among high-ranking soldiers who
are given the mandate to decide on the nature of cases that are tried for sexual assault allegations.
While the program is faced by various challenges, several recommendations can be
implemented including a clear focus on soldier safety and not just assaults. The proactive
approach of SHARP has been to integrate behavior and attitude change among soldiers and
hence prevent an assault. However, it is evident there is no measure of the efficiency of such a
program. According to Grenny (2013) while trying all perpetrators is a good move, the military
needs to create an environment that is intolerant of any sexual harassment. This includes the
provision of an environment that is safe for reporting, emphasizing on zero tolerance policies,
and training and awakening soldiers to the prevention of such harassment in their environment.
SHARP could take a step further than merely providing awareness to implementing policies that
ensure all soldiers are safe and have confidence in the program. If soldiers have no confidence in
the program, they are less likely to report and more likely to perpetrate sexual harassment and
assault against colleagues.
Another recommendation for SHARP is in rearranging the decision-making structure.
The decision-making structure currently provides many commanders and high-ranking soldiers
with autonomy in deciding cases which go to trial. However, as aforementioned, this reduces the
effectiveness of the system due to a lack of transparency. This could be changed by adopting
policies that include shared decision-making. According to a report by PBS News Hour, sexual
assault remains pervasive because many cases are not decided openly and victims do not get
justice from the system (Lardner, 2017). I agree with this observation due to the current state of
affairs regarding the protocols in the military. SHARP should have more mandate on decisionmaking and prosecuting cases of sexual harassment cases. To change this, an independent
counsel may be instituted to look into sexual assault claims and their nature for a more
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transparent approach to the justice system. This counsel will empower the efforts of SHARP by
increasing fairness and a proactive approach to sexual assault.
While the Sexual Harassment Assault Response Prevention (SHARP) program is
working against sexual assault, there is a need for more support to reduce contemporary
challenges facing the program. In my organization, the main issue is that the effectiveness of this
program has not been evaluated. Secondly, decision-making in handling cases of sexual assault
may be limiting SHARP. Efforts of the program are also diverted to mental health issues. To
change this, decision-making should be relegated to an independent counsel. Moreover, there is a
need to increase the program’s focus on safety. These approaches may assist the program in
developing more capacity and effectiveness in dealing with sexual harassment and assault. For
an army free from sexual assault, there is a need for renewed efforts in increasing effectiveness
Grenny, J. (2013, May 17). How to end sexual abuse in the military. TIME. Retrieved from
Lardner, R. (2017, Sept. 7). Sexual assault remains a problem in U.S military, new Senate report
says. PBS News Hour. Retrieved from
Orchowski, L. M., Berry-Cabán, C. S., Prisock, K., Borsari, B., & Kazemi, D. M. (2018).
Evaluations of sexual assault prevention programs in military settings: a synthesis of the
research literature. Military Medicine, 183(suppl_1), 421-428.

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hierarchical nature

decision making structure

Army Institute for Professional Development


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